Please Remember Me
by babylou23
Summary: Temp Hiatus -The day after Bella's 16th birthday,she disappears. For 4 years Edward has searched for her and when he finally finds her, she does not know who he is. Can he help Bella remember who she was or will she choose the life she was forced into.
1. chapter one

**_This story is rated M as it has dark themes and adult content in it. If you are under eighteen, please do not read. _**

**_This is my first story, I have another one "Speak" which is more fun and light, but still with drama. This story is more heavy and lots of Angst. The first few chapter maybe a little confusing but trust me, you will find out the answers to your questions as the story progresses. _**

**_I do not own Twilight, but I do own Lostward and PRM, so no copying._**

**_Huge thanks to beta Cedward2417._**

What Hurts the Most

Edward

"Dada, Dada," she called to me. Her big chocolate eyes were staring at me, pleading with me. I didn't know what she was pleading for, but I knew in my heart that I would give it to her. I stared at her in shock as a wide crooked smile, matching my own, appeared on her face. I could not help but smile back at her. My heart swelled as I took in her features, her long copper hair flowing down the back of her small body. God, she was beautiful.

This couldn't be real, could it?

"Dada, up?" She held her small milky arms in the air from her body. I stared at her in confusion.

_Dada? Me? _

"Dada, up please?" She asked again. Her voice was so sweet and her eyes begged me to hold her, how could I refuse this angel. I picked her up and held her tight against my chest. I could not take my eyes away from her.

_My daughter. _

God, I have dreamed about this for years; having a family, a daughter with the woman I have been in love with since I was six years old. The little girl placed her head into my neck and her small hand on my cheek. She giggled the cutest little giggle I have ever heard.

"Love you," she whispered into my ear then giggled again.

"I love you, Angel," I whispered back to her, knowing in my heart that I loved this girl. Just like I knew that she was my daughter, there was no doubt in my mind that she wasn't mine, and I knew exactly who her mother was too, she looked so much like her.

"There you are."

_I froze, thinking it couldn't be. _

"Dinner is ready, you two."

I turned my body and faced the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. Yes, she was a woman now, not a teenage girl anymore. I felt my heart jump out of my chest she stood at the door frame with her arms folded across her chest- her long brown hair thick and shiny flowed down her back in natural waves. Her heart shaped face glowed with the biggest smile, and her eyes, her eyes sparkled. God, I missed her.

I smiled my crooked smile at her and knew the effect it would have on her. My daughter held me tighter, another giggle escaped into my neck.

"Bella," I whispered, as I stared at her.

"Did you have a good sleep?" she asked as she walked closer to me.

"Anthony kept asking me to wake you so that you can play Halo with him," she laughed.

_Anthony, my son? I had a son? _

I held the little girl in one arm and pulled Bella to my chest with the other. She wrapped an arm around my waist and the other went to my cheek, just like our daughter had done a few minutes ago.

"God, I missed you so much, Bella," I whispered into her ear. My voice almost broke when I said her name. I looked at her smiling face, then back at my daughter's, then back at Bella's again. They looked so much alike. My hand involuntary reached to her neck and pulled her to me. The moment my lips touched hers, the electric spark that I remembered flowed through my body. I could feel the tears form in my eyes as my lips moved with hers.

"I love you so much," I whispered into her mouth.

"I love you, too, handsome." I smiled at her, the biggest smile appeared on my face, and in that moment I felt whole- I felt complete the first time in four years. I closed my eyes and crashed my lips to hers again. I could still feel my daughter's hand on my face, but I could not pull away from Bella, it had been so long since I had her in my arms. I wanted to taste her so much- I pulled her tighter to me as I ran my tongue along her bottom lip. She opened her mouth and I pushed my tongue into her mouth; but I could not taste her. I tightened my grip on her again, and pulled her close; but I still could not taste her. I suddenly realized that I couldn't feel her body anymore either. I started to panic as I felt her slip away.

"Bella," I whispered, and prayed that she could hear me.

"Bella, please," I whispered again as I opened my eyes to find that my nightmare had come true, she was gone. I heard my daughter's giggle, but as I turned to look at her she was gone too. My arms suddenly felt really empty without my girls.

"Bella!" I shouted. But there was only blackness in front of me.

"Beellaa!" I yelled louder and spun around in a circle. "No, no, Bella, please no, Bella!"

I could feel all my energy drain from my body. I fell to my knees and cried: "No, no, not again!" The words came out as a sob, while tears fell from my eyes.

"Please come back!" I begged. "Bella, come back."

"Beeellaaaaa!" I yelled as I jumped from my bed. "BELLA!" I sobbed into my empty bedroom, while tears still fell down my cheek.

"You son of a bitch! Fucking, son of a bitch!" I continued to yell while punching my pillows. I knew it had been too good to be true. I have had many dreams about Bella before, but this was the first one that had my daughter in it. My daughter. My heart ached for the little girl I would never have. Everything I ever wanted was right there in my arms, then in a split second, it was taken away from me.

I lay back onto my bed and crawled into a fetal position. "Bella," I whispered as I clung to my pillow and cried myself back into a dreamless sleep.

_Beep, beep, beep._

"Urgh," I mumbled while I pulled my hand from under the covers and patted the air, trying to find the fucking alarm.

_Beep, beep, beep._

"Fuck!" I pulled my head up slowly, opened my eyes to find the source of the fucking noise and shut it up. 6:30 a.m. flashed in front of my eyes. I moved my hand quickly and pushed the alarm clock with all the strength I had at this time in the morning. I was angry, I was angry every morning, but I was even more angry than usual this morning after that fucking dream. So I wasn't surprised when the alarm clock and the lamp fell and smashed against the floor. Well, at least it shut the fucking thing up.

A groan escaped my mouth as I buried myself back into my bed.

I, fucking, hated mornings!

I hated them as much as I hated the nights. They were the two hardest parts of my day- those were the times when the pain was uncontrollable. It would start in my stomach and slowly take over my whole body- to the point where I could not move. I would just lie there and stare at the ceiling and prayed that Bella was lying next to me. I would think of what would happen if I found her. When she would see me, run into my arms; and tell me that she loved me, that she missed me, and that she would never leave me again. Then I would bring her home and make love to her all night long. I would ask her to marry me, she would say yes, and we would live happily ever after. But every night for the past four years that never happened, and I still ended up in my bed alone and in more pain than the day before.

Yeah, I really fucking hated the mornings.

I finally dragged my ass out of bed. I showered, dressed, and made my way to work. My job was my life line. It is the only thing in my life that kept me functioning every day.

I had always wanted to follow in my father's footsteps. Since I was a little boy, I would go to the hospital with him, and followed him around with a plastic stethoscope around my neck, and helped him make sick people better. When I got to high school I took all the right classes and worked hard hoping to make it to Harvard medical school, just like my father did.

Bella was really happy with my career choice, and she would help me study and encouraged me to achieve my dreams. All of my dreams disappeared the same fucking day she disappeared. I spent months just walking around like a zombie- I never fucking slept or ate, my father would force me to eat shit by threatening to send me to the hospital if I didn't. He knew that if I was sent away that I couldn't look for Bella. I did as he asked, and somehow made it through the rest of college.

Everything reminded me of her, of us; the restaurant down the street where we had our first real date, the park across from my parents where we use to play when we were kids, the meadow where we first made love. It was our special place that no-one knew about, now it was an empty field without her. I refused to talk to anyone or go anywhere so eventually people stopped talking to me or invited me to parties and stuff. I walked around every day in my own world, worried about my girl. I soon sank into a deep depression that no-one could get me out off.

At the end of my first semester at Harvard, I had decided that I wanted to join the FBI. I knew my father would be disappointed, but at the time, I didn't give a shit. When I told my parents that I was joining the FBI I thought they would be mad, but my mother just cried and told me that she was just happy that I was doing something with my life. My father was disappointed, as I knew he would be. He knew the reason I wanted to join the FBI was because it was a job that would teach me the skills that I needed to find Bella.

So, I changed my major to Law and went to visit Charlie to tell him what I wanted to do. To say that he was very happy when I told him that I wanted to become an FBI Agent would have been an understatement. He spent that afternoon telling me what I needed to do and stories about his training. I loved spending with Charlie- I had spent every Sunday morning fishing with him when I was a kid and all through high school. However, he still gave the father's talk about dating his daughter when I asked him if I could take Bella out on our first official date, and he still introduced me to his gun even though I had seen it a million times growing up. But he knew that I would take care of Bella and not hurt her in anyway, so he allowed me to date her. Most fathers would not let their 15 year old daughter date a boy that was 3 years older than her, no matter how well he knew him. So I was very grateful that Charlie trusted me enough to be with Bella; but I'm sure if he knew that I had been stealing kisses from her since she was 13 he wouldn't have been so trusting.

Charlie managed to pull a few strings and got me a job with the local police office near campus, and I worked there all through college. He even showed up at my graduation- telling me that he was proud of me, and even though Bella wasn't here, she would be proud of the man I had become. In that moment, I knew I had gained another father in Charlie.

Everything changed when I was assigned to a case where a couple had been murdered and a little girl had been kidnapped. I spent days interviewing suspects, witnesses, following up on clues, and gaining evidence. It took me almost 10 days until I found her. Her parents had gotten into money trouble and borrowed money from a loan shark. When they could not pay the money back, they were killed and their daughter was taken as payment so that the bastards could introduce her into the child slavery world. I have never felt as important as that day I found her lying on a dirty mattress in an empty garage. I had finally found something where I could make a difference in the world, and when I carried that little girl and whispered to her that she was safe, and that I would take care of her, I knew that this job was what I was meant to do.

I couldn't help but feel that Bella would be proud of me and what I achieved. My father told me he was proud of me that day too, and that he was sorry for not supporting me like he should have. I felt a little part of me come back alive that day, it was no longer just a job that would help me find Bella- it was a job where I could save people that were taken from their lives. I could be the person to find them and give them their life back. I grew to enjoy and love my job, but it was still not enough to take away my pain or my depression.

I grabbed some coffee and a bagel and made my way to work. The routine was fucking robotic- I walked on the same streets, passed by the same shops, in which I couldn't tell you what the hell they sold, and I really didn't give a shit either. I crossed the same road towards my work building not bothering to check the traffic light, if a car hit me, it would make my shitting day a bit more interesting.

I finally made it to my work building and pushed my arse through their giant doors. I didn't understand why they felt like they needed huge, heavy, glass doors that took forever to push open. They weren't a fucking bank, no one was going to come into an FBI building and make a scene. I nodded my head trying to clear the stupidity of the idea out of my head.

"Good morning, Agent Cullen," Heidi's squeaky voice flowed into my ears. I couldn't be arsed answering her, I just raised my hand above my head to let her know that I heard her, and made my way to the elevators. The ride up was quick and quiet - just the way I like it. I pulled the baseball cap that I wore further down, covering my eyes. I didn't want to talk to anyone, so I kept my head down and stared at my black Nikes.

I got to my office quickly and no one fucking bothered me. Truthfully, they never do. I had gained the bad boy reputation over the years, between smashing my office a few times, banging random girls, and punching more co-workers than criminals. I had become unapproachable to many people and that suited me fine.

I settled into my office chair and heard the annoying sounds of stilettos as they clicked around outside my office. I blocked the sound out of my head and looked around my office- I had grown to love my office over the last couple of years. I felt more at home here than I did in my own apartment. The bright, white walls gave the room as sense of calm, my mother had insisted that she got to decorate it, and she'd done a great job. It was simple, but stylish, with a cherry oak desk, leather chair, and a few filing cabinets in it. My office was small, but big enough for me. My mom had put my diploma, my degree, and my training certificates into frames and hung them on my wall. There wasn't really space for anything else.

I sat back in my chair, put my feet on my desk, with my hands behind my head, and stared out of the small window into the dull streets of Seattle. It was nothing special, it wasn't a grand view or anything, but it was enough for me. Enough to remind me that I still existed in this city- that I stilled lived in this fucked up world. I would spend endless hours in this position staring out into the dull streets. I would watch people pass, in hope that maybe luck was on my side for a change, and that I would see my girl. Just hoping that she would pass by my window, proving right what my heart kept telling me. But she never did, and at the end of every day, I closed the blinds and all the hope I had that day died.

So, I would go to the nearest bar, get drunk, and look for the next slut to fuck senseless.

There were three items in my office that I loved and hated at the same time - three sliver photo frames, standing next to my computer. The smallest one had a photo of my parents and me when I was three years old. It was Christmas morning, the first one where my father had been present when I woke up. Usually he would have to work and wouldn't get home until later in the afternoon. I stared at my father in the picture. He looked so much younger, his hair bright blonde and his eyes a deep shade of blue, filled with happiness, with my mother sitting next to him. Her hair, which is the same bronze colour as mine, was loose and in waves down her shoulder, her eyes sparkling green, also like my own. The only thing that was the same between us now was our eyes. My mother's appearance had changed a lot over the years, so had my father's. In the picture I sat on my mother's knee, holding on to my first guitar, my smile matched my father's. I guess I had changed a lot since that photo as well, I still had the same hair and eyes, but I was older, taller, and thinner now. I also don't play the guitar.

The most recent photo was a picture of Tanya and me with huge cheesy smiles on our faces and massive ice-cream cones in our hands. That was the day I told her that I would take care of her, that she would be in my life forever. That was the first day that I had told another girl that I loved her. I had only said that to one other girl, but I knew in my heart that when Bella finally met Tanya she would understand.

The last photo was the one I cherished most, but it was also the one that stabbed my fucking heart every time I looked at it. It was sliver framed with two photos in it- the top half held a picture of Bella and me from my 8th birthday party. We lay on our stomachs, on the grass in my mother's back yard. I was wearing my favourite mariner's t-shirt, my bronze hair was sticking out in every direction, and I had a wide crooked smile on my face. I had my arm around Bella's shoulder, pulling her close to me. She had her head resting on my chest- her long brown hair flowed down her side. She was also wearing a Mariners t-shirt, her smile was shy, but her big brown eyes shined with happiness and amusement while holding a long sunflower to her nose. I remembered that was the day when Bella gave me a voucher for piano lessons, and I realized right then, that not only was she my best friend, but that one day she would also be my wife, just like my mom was to my dad. I didn't fully understand what that meant at the age of eight, I just knew it meant that she would live with me, I would take care of her, and she would make me dinner just like my mom did. But I never understood that, at that moment, I had just given away a part of myself to a pretty 5 year old girl that would disappear years later, taking that piece of me with her.

In the bottom half of the frame was a picture from Bella's 16th birthday party- the day before she disappeared. It was also taken in my mother's back yard, and we were also lying on the grass, but this time, I was leaning against a tree with Bella in front of me. My arms were wrapped around her- holding her close to me. The only difference between the two pictures was that Bella was playing with the necklace I had given her that day, and our eyes were not only filled with happiness, they were also filled with love. That was the day I gave her my whole heart and she gave me hers. We had taken the next step in our relationship, joining us in a way that we had never been before, completing each other in a way I never knew existed. That was the best day of my life, quickly followed by the worst.

In the middle of the frame was the word 'forever' in big 3D letters joining the two pictures together. There were days where I really wanted to throw that frame out of the window- it was a constant reminder of what had been taken from me, of what I no longer deserved. It was like a truck running over my body every time I looked at it, especially today after that fucking dream.

I sighed and started listening to the mumbles outside my office, everyone going about their day. The sound of the stilettos caught my attention again. They were getting closer to my office. I waited to see if she would enter. She didn't disappoint. I watched my door open and close slowly. Heidi locked the door behind her, and made her way slowly towards my desk.

"I brought you coffee, Sir," she said and licked her lips seductively at me. I stared at her, my expression blank. I knew what she was here for, but I was not going to play mind games with her. I don't do that shit. She eventually placed the cup of coffee on my desk, and leaned forward placing her hands flat on the desk so that her fucking plastic tits were right in front of my face.

"I thought you could use a treat, you work very hard and deserve a break."

Her eyes were hooded and shined with lust. Heidi was attractive, I had to admit that, but she was also the most fake woman I have ever been with. The only part of her body that I thought was real, were her feet, but it wouldn't surprise me if she had a bit of work done to them too.

"I think I do, too," I answered her cheesy pick up lines while moving my chair back from the desk, making room for her. She understood my actions perfectly and moved around the desk, swaying her hips until she stood in front of me.

Heidi smiled at me, probably remembering the last time we were in this situation. We had been here so many times before- sometimes I would bend her over my desk and pound into her like a mad man, other times I would make her pleasure herself while I fucked her mouth, that way she got off without me having to take care of it. I was a selfish prick, but I could honestly put my hand on my heart and say I didn't give a shit.

"On your knees!" I commanded. I didn't really like Heidi as a person, she was manipulative, materialistic, and basically a total bitch. But, fuck, she knew how to work her mouth, and if she wanted to please me, then who was I to refuse her?

She knelt down on her knees, ran one of her fake nails along my dick, and stared at me under her dark eyelashes. I drew in a breath, so she did it again. What the fuck was this?

I raised one eyebrow at her questioningly. "I'm not in a fucking patient mood Heidi, get to it already!" My tone was low, but harsh, so that she knew that I wasn't joking. She just smiled at me, licked her lips, and answered, "Yes, Sir."

She finally made quick work of my jeans and released my dick. I was hard and throbbing, and when she licked the tip, I could not stop a groan from escaping my mouth.

"God, I love your fucking cock, it's so big and thick, mmm." She licked the pre-cum around the tip again. I didn't want her to talk, so I grabbed her hair tightly and roughly pushed her head towards my dick, she opened up and began her magic.

"Fuck!" I grunted. Heidi started bobbing up and down, sucking on me tightly. I threw my head back and closed my eyes trying to enjoy the warm fuzzy feeling in my body and the warmth of her mouth. She started moaning and humming around my dick, but she had only taken a third of me in her mouth, when I knew she can take all of me.

"Take it all!" I demanded and pushed my dick further into her mouth. She gagged a little at first, than relaxed, allowing me to hit the back of her throat. "That's it- take all of me in that warm fucking mouth."

I still needed more, so I bucked my hips making me go further down her throat. And fuck, that felt good, I had never been so deep in anyone's mouth before. Other women would usually gag and complain that I was too big, but Heidi just moaned in pleasure. Soon she was pumping and sucking me, while I was thrusting roughly up into her mouth- which created the perfect friction. I would have worried that I was being too rough with her, but I knew she liked it that way, and by the moans she was making, I knew she was fine.

A few minutes later, I shot my load quickly into her mouth and gave her a fake promise to return the favour later. She blew me a kiss goodbye and walked out my office with a smirk that told me she was pleased with her work. I turned on my computer, opened up the files on my desk, and once again buried myself in the thing I loved.

"Hey, I got a lead on the McWilliams's case," Jasper threw his arse into the chair opposite my desk. "What the hell are you wearing, Cullen? Where's your suit?"

I just stared at the computer trying to block him out. All my suits were at the dry cleaners. I couldn't be bothered into collecting them this morning, so I'd thrown on jeans and a hoodie, hoping that I could just sit there and do paperwork all day. I had a feeling that was not going to happen.

"Aro wants us to follow it up," he continued sounding a bit too happy. "It's in Vegas," he added. "Are you listening to me?" He sighed when I didn't answer him.

I nodded once, the McWilliams's case dealt with a 27 year old man that disappeared last month. Everything about the case told us that he did not disappear, but had run away from his suffocating, rich parents. I hated a case that was a waste of time- I wanted to find people who wanted to come home, people who were taken from their loved ones- not assholes who were too scared to tell their parents to fuck off.

"Do you want to go home, pack a bag, and meet at the airport in about hour?" Jasper asked, nodding his head while he talked, which made his long blonde hair bounce on his head.

"Okay, do you think we could squeeze in a couple of days out of it? We could gamble the rest of my inheritance away, maybe hit a few bars, find a couple of sluts too…" I was cut off by the ringing of my phone. Irritated, I finally looked at Jasper to see him roll his grey eyes at me and silently laugh at my man whoring ramble.

"What?" I snapped into the phone.

"Mr. Cullen." My body suddenly tensed knowing the reason for this call.

"Jenks, what do have for me?"

I ignored Jasper's heavy sigh and wide eyes. He also knew what this call was about, and I could tell by his deep sighs that he was not happy about it.

"A body was found in San Francisco, Sir," he answered with a hint of sadness in his tone. I had hired Jenks when I joined the FBI, so that someone was still looking for Bella when I couldn't. He was one of the best detectives in the state and he understood my desperation to find her.

"She fits all the categories, Sir."

"Email me all the details right now! I'll be there later tonight," I sighed, running my hand through my bronze hair, making it stick out more than it already was- a habit I had whenever I was nervous or worried- and in this case, I was both.

"Will do, Sir." I ended the call and started booking two plane tickets to San Francisco. I could hear Jasper sighing while tapping his fingers on my desk, waiting for me to say something. But I continued to ignore him- Bella was more important.

Eventually I had enough of the glares from Jasper.

"Don't even start, Jazz, you know the drill when Jenks calls."

"I can't keep covering your arse, Cullen. What am I meant to say to Aro, this time?" He asked. I just shrugged, not really caring what he told my boss. "Look, I know you're still grieving for this girl, but man, you're going to have to…"

"Grieving? She's not fucking dead, Jazz." I glared at him, I was pissed now. "She's out there, somewhere, with God knows what kind of sick bastard, waiting for me to find her. She's not dead." My breathing had grown heavy. She was not dead, my angel was out there, I could feel it in my gut and in my heart that she was still alive.

Jasper was still sitting calmly in his chair and glared back at me.

"It's been four years, Edward. How long are going to hold onto her, well, your version of her?"

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"God, Edward!" He finally stood up from the chair, leaning against one of my filing cabinets. "Even if she is alive, and say you do find her, what then, huh?" He asked.

I finished booking my flights and shut down my computer. I answered him while I packed up my stuff with a small smile on my face.

"Then, Jazz, I get to kill the bastard that took her from me, take her home, and live happily ever after."

"This is not a fairy tale, Cullen," he snapped. "She will not be the same 16 year old girl you fell in love with."

He stared straight at me, and a cold chill ran down my spine.

"What are you going to do when you find her and she doesn't want you? Or that she's so broken that she can't be with you, emotionally or physically?"

I pinched the ridge of my nose with one hand and placed the other on my desk, trying to control my anger. I was furious. There was no way Bella would not want me, she loved me. I knew that, I would never doubt that, and I really did not need this right now.

"Even worse, what if she's happy where she is, Edward? Have you thought that maybe the reason you can't find her is because she doesn't want to be found, and you're wasting your life living in this hole that you've created for yourself." His voice grew louder the more he rambled, which was just making me more angry. "Hell, maybe she wasn't kidnapped? Maybe she had had enough of your whiny ass and baited to …"

My body suddenly flew at him, one of my hands went straight to his neck and grabbed his throat tightly, while the other went to his chest, pinning him to the nearest wall.

"ENOUGH!" I yelled. My nostrils flared, my eyes were wide and full of rage. "I will fucking kill you if you talk about her like that again! I don't give a shit who you are- you don't know what the fuck you're talking about!"

His body was still relaxed, and I could see the concern and worry in his eyes. He wasn't scared of me- he wasn't even shocked that I had him pinned to the wall by his throat. Why? I filed the information away to think about later, right then, I had a flight to catch.

I let Jasper go and stormed out of my office, I didn't look back to see if he was okay, I really didn't give a fuck.

Who did he think he was talking to me like that?

He didn't fucking know her, he had never even fucking met her, and I was not going to let him stand there and tell me that my girl fucking left me.

He's lucky I didn't rip his throat out, that son of a bitch.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called the one person who did know her, who knew and understood me, the only person I needed right then, and I knew she'd come with me, she always did.

**_So how much to you hate Edward right now? Please review and let me know what you think._**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Thank you to all readers, You guys are the best. **_

_**I do own Twilight but I do own Lostward and PRM. **_

_**Thanks to my beta, cedward 2417 **_

Here We Go Again

Edward

The airport was busy for a Thursday afternoon. I expected a lot of men or women in suits flying to and from places on business; but today all I could fucking see were families and couples everywhere. Fathers were chasing their sons around the seats with a toddler dangling from his arms like an extra body apart waiting to fall off. The mothers were checking in their handbags- making sure they had all of their passports, tickets, and baby wipes. All the while the children were too excited to sit in one place, so they would jump from chair to chair and irritating their parents every 5 minutes by asking if that was their plane over this way or that way.

As I looked around my seat, boredom was fucking kicking in. I spotted a brown haired little boy, about 10 years old, who sat against the window and looked at all the planes outside, while a blonde girl sat next to him and read a book. The scene before me was so familiar, that little boy was me a few years ago. I felt the longing in my heart when I thought about how my family had gone on so many holidays with Bella's family. Every year our families would join together, pick somewhere hot with a big beach and lots of water sports, and we would all fly out together. We'd spend two of the best weeks together enjoying the sunshine and water, which was something that rarely happened in Forks- well the sunshine at least- there was definitely plenty of fucking water around with the Forks's weather.

I remembered our holiday in California when things first changed between Bella and me.

"_Edward, come on! I want to get on a sports ride man," Emmett yelled at me._

_I had agreed to spend the day trying out all the water sports rides that were available- now that I was fifteen, 5' 6" and still growing, I was allowed on most of the rides. I was excited to try them out. I had watched Emmett for the last three years go on rides that I was either too short or too young to go on; and now, I could go on anyone I wanted. Bella was still really small and a lot younger than me, therefore, she would be refused the rides. She said that she didn't care- that she wanted to go shopping and sunbath by the beach- but I knew Bella, and even though she is a girl, she doesn't like shopping (unless it was in book stores), so I knew that she was lying._

"_Edward, come on."_

"_What about Bella? We can't just leave her on her own, Em," I questioned, the guilt was stirring in my stomach. _

"_Bella's fine. She wouldn't like them anyway, come on." I finally agreed and went grumpily with him. I felt really guilty, having left my best friend behind._

_We had spent hours trying out all the rides that were there and, eventually, (when we had run out of money) we went back to the hotel. _

_My skin felt hot and tingly from the sun. I knew that this was the start of my sunburn- I just hoped that it wasn't bad enough for me to get sunstroke. I didn't want to spend the rest of my holiday sick._

"_Ah you're back, Edward. How was your day, Son?" My father asked from the sofa that was in the hotel family room. He was leaning down with my mother beside him, and they watched some Spanish show._

"_It was good, Dad. I think I got sunburned though," I answered him while trying to look at my back in the main mirror. _

"_How many times do I have to remind you to kept applying sunscreen, you don't want skin cancer, Edward?" My father sighed and ran his hand through his blonde hair- it was a habit that I had also picked up on, and did, when I was worried or nervous._

"_I did put some on, Dad. I guess I didn't put on enough, I'm going to go take a shower." I didn't wait for them to reply, I really wasn't in the mood for my father's lecture on skin cancer again. Sometimes it was great having your father as the local doctor, but often he would lecture me about shit like: how unhealthy it was when I ate McDonald's all the time instead of a healthy meal, or that smoking was the number one source of cancer related deaths. I loved my dad, I wanted to be doctor just like him; but I promised myself that I would leave the doctor in the hospital and be Edward at home when I was older. My son could eat all the McDonald's he wanted- hell, I'd be there eating a Big Mac® with him._

_I quickly ran a cool shower and slowly stepped in under the cool spray. The cool water tingled as it hit my raw skin, feeling like hundreds of needles piercing the surface, but it managed to sooth the sunburn. My mind drifted off to Bella, I felt really guilty for leaving her alone. I know she said she didn't mind, but I also knew that Bella would say anything if she thought it would make other people happy. Maybe I could make it up to her- spend tomorrow with her, and do anything she wanted to, yeah that's what I would do- make her pick something that she really wanted to do, and I would do it with her._

_I was thinking about the plan that had formed in my head while I got out the shower, dried my body, and wrapped the towel around my waist. I started humming a tune that had started to build in my head for the last couple of days, I didn't know what it was, but I knew that I had to get down on paper as soon as I got home._

_I stopped still when I opened the bathroom door. Bella was sitting on the edge of my bed, her long hair was tied in a high pony tail- she was wearing a pair of denim jeans and a white t-shirt. She looked adorable. She always looked adorable to me, even on Sunday when we sat around and watched Friends on the telly, and she was in her holey sweats and her dad's t-shirt._

"_Hey," I mumbled quietly._

"_Hey," she answered. "Your mum told me to tell you to be ready in an hour." _

"_Ok."_

_I walked over to my suitcase and pulled out a pair of jeans and t-shirt._

"_Can you wait here for a sec, I want to talk to you about something?" She nodded her head, and I hurried back into the bathroom to get dressed. _

_Bella was still sitting on the bed when I went back into my room, so I sat beside her. I didn't know why I was suddenly so nervous, it was only Bella, she was my best friend; but right now, something was different, and I didn't know what it was. It wasn't like this earlier, or yesterday, or even the day before when she stayed over at my house and we both fell asleep on the couch wrapped up in each other arms. _

"_I'm sorry I left you on your own today," I blurted out._

"_It's ok, I never expected you to hang out with me all the time, Edward, I'm glad you got to have fun with, Emmie." _

_I watched as she bit her bottom lip- something was worrying her- she always bit her lips when she was worried._

"_If you're ok with it, then what's wrong?"_

_She let out a deep sigh. I could feel my heart beat speed up, and my hands started to sweat. What the hell was wrong with me? I couldn't shake the tension in the room, and I have no idea why it was even there. _

_She finally looked at me, her deep brown eyes stared at me, and I felt a chill run down my spine. It was like she was looking into my soul searching for something. The feeling in my stomach and the way she looked at me was starting to scare the crap out of me._

"_Bella, what is it?"_

"_Can you kiss me, please?" _

What? Kiss her?

"_Kiss you?" I asked. My eyes went wide with shock. I didn't know what shocked me more, the fact that Bella - my best friend, who I had known my whole life, who I used to share a bath with- wants me to kiss her, or the fact that I realized that I really wanted to kiss her._

"_I made some friends today, they are my age, and well, they were talking about what boys they have kissed and what it was like. I didn't know what to say to them as I've never kissed a boy, I mean really kissed a boy- not like the kiss we give each other at Christmas- and they made it sound like it was good and fun. I really wanted to try it, and I don't want just anyone to be my first kiss, Edward…"_

_She looked at me from under her eyelashes, her eyes pleading with me. I don't know why or where these feelings had suddenly come from, but I really wanted to say yes to her._

"_I want it to be with you."_

"_I don't know Bella, I want to, I really want to, but what if your dad finds out? He has a gun, and I'm fifteen, almost sixteen, Bella, and you're only thirteen, I don't think your dad, well…" I was rambling until she placed her small finger over my mouth. I suddenly wanted to kiss her finger, taste her. Well my hormones were alive and kicking today._

_God, Charlie, was going to fucking kill me. _

"_My dad doesn't need to know, and you're not that much older. Emmett kissed Rose, and he's a little older than you are." _

" _What? When?"_

"_Christmas. Rose told me."_

"_Oh, I still don't know." I nodded my head, trying to get the perverted thoughts out of it._

"_I trust you, Edward. I want my first real kiss to be with you, not some stupid boy I don't know."_

"_What boy?" I asked her with venom in my voice. I didn't want any other boy kissing, my Bella. _

My Bella?

"_Sam, one of the boys that I meet today, he asked if he could kiss me." I watched as she licked her lips, making them all kissable._

_I looked her straight in the eyes. _

"_Are you sure?" I asked. I wanted to make sure that she wanted this. She nodded her head, never taking her eyes from mine. I could see the honesty and lust behind them. She really wanted me, Bella wanted to kiss me. My heart leapt at the thought of Bella wanting me, only me. _

_For the first time I had butterflies in my stomach. I had kissed a few girls before, but I had never had these types of feelings before. _

_I looked at her lips, then her eyes, and she'd done the same. I slowly moved my head closer to her. Bella copied my moves until I could feel her lips pressed against mine. There was a warm burning feeling flowing through my body, it made me feel alive. I had no idea what it was, but I wanted more of it. I pulled away and looked at Bella, making sure she was okay. She just looked at me, smiled, and looked at my lips again. I didn't have a chance to think about anything before her lips were back linked to mine, this time our lips started moving with each other. The burning feeling was getting stronger, and then, Bella moaned. She moaned into my mouth, and suddenly, my teenage hormones were in overdrive, fighting to get some release._

_I'm not sure how long we continued to kiss like this, but I wanted more. I wanted to taste her and feel her tongue against mine. _

"_Bella," I whispered into her as we pulled apart to take a quick breath_.

"_Edward," she whispered back to me and push her lips back onto mine again. I pulled her body closer to mine and ran my tongue along her bottom lip, silently asking if she wanted more. She grabbed me tightly by the hair, opened her mouth, and pushed her tongue passed my teeth and touched the tip of my tongue with hers. A deep moan escaped my mouth before I could control it, this felt so incredible. _

_I let her take the lead, as she had never done this before, and I wanted her to explore me, show me what she wanted. However, a little guidance didn't hurt. I gently wrapped my tongue around hers, and then sucked on her bottom lip. A louder moan escaped her mouth making my heart do cartwheels. I could feel myself getting hard with her body pressed so close to mine. I had to stop before our intensity got out of control; but fuck, this felt so amazing I never wanted it to end. However, if I wanted to live, I had to stop._

_I gently pulled away from her, rested my forehead on hers, and tried to control my breathing. _

"_Bella, Baby," I whispered to her. I didn't really know what to say. How do you tell your best friend, who is three years younger, that they had just given you the kiss of your life; that your body was screaming for more, without feeling like a pervert or scaring her away?_

"_That was amazing, Edward, thank you." She ran her hand along my cheek and in that moment I knew things had changed for us. I knew that she wanted me- I could see it in her eyes._

_I spent the next year and a half stealing little kisses, just like our first, from her. I made sure that they didn't go any further than just kisses. She was too young and innocent. Finally, on New Year's Eve, when Bella was fifteen and I was eighteen, I approached Charlie half an hour before midnight and admitted that I was in love with his daughter. _

_He laughed at me and told me that he already knew that, but we would talk about it later. I told him I wanted to tell her and kiss her at the bells. He just nodded his head and repeated "just a kiss" to me. I knew that was my warning from him. At midnight I asked Bella to officially be my girlfriend and kissed her, showing her everything I felt for her in that kiss. _

_There were no more innocent kisses after that night._

I had finished two packets of Skittles® while I'd taken that trip down memory lane.

I put the third packet into my pocket for while I was on the plane. The little boy and girl were gone when I looked over to where they had been. I hoped that boy's life doesn't hold the same fate as mine- I wouldn't wish for this fucking life on anyone. Well I could think of a few little shits, but I really wanted to stay calm while I made the trip to San Francisco. Truthfully, I was fucking tired from building myself up in hope of some good news about Bella, only for it to be shattered when nothing really had been found.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, so I pulled it out and read the text quietly:

_**I'm here.**_

I looked up at the main doors and smiled at her and watched her golden blonde hair sway around her shoulders, while it rested on top of her checked shirt as she approached me.

"Let me get that."

I grabbed the large fucking girly holdall that she carried around with her. I never understood why she would pack so much shit for one night, two at the most; but as she reminded me so many times, she was a girl and girls needed more shit.

"Thanks, Edward, where are we going this time?" she asked, her voice sounded tired. I looked closely at her, she had dark circles under her eyes and her face was pale, very pale.

"Um, San Francisco." I paused while she just nodded her head, she really did look too pale.

"Rose, you feeling okay?"

She sighed, "Yeah, I'm fine."

I did not believe her, her eyes looked sad, and her face was drawn, as if she had been up all night worrying about something. I arched my right eyebrow to let her know I wasn't buying her story.

"I don't want to talk about it right now, Sweets." She gave me a small smile asking me to leave her alone. So I did. For now.

We made it to San Francisco almost three hours later. The sky was getting dark, and my body was getting tired, but my mind was alive. A thousand different scenarios were forming in my head of what I may find tonight. What if this girl is Bella? Then what? Do I ask Charlie to fly down here, or do I send the body up to Forks? What if it isn't, Bella? Do I keep looking for her while I'm here? My mind was thinking of practical solutions while my heart felt like it was breaking again from the idea of that dead girl being Bella.

We checked into the Millbrae California Green Hotel, as it was the closest hotel to the fucking airport that had rooms available at short notice. I just wanted to get to the hospital and get this shit over with. We had done this so many fucking times before, that I was good at blocking out the event; but somehow today it was different. I was sacred shitless that this feeling may mean that it was Bella this time, that my gut was wrong, and I would never get her back.

"Good evening, Sir," an older woman greeted me huskily.

I sighed and nodded my head in disgust, this women was about forty. She looked good for her age, with her long blonde hair and glassy eyes, but she was about the same age as my mother. She had a twinkle in her eye and licked her lips while she stared at me. I knew the signs. Women would hit on me all the time, but I really was not in the mood for this shit. The fact the Rosalie was standing next to me, her small hand linked with mine, obviously meant nothing to the woman behind the desk.

"Cullen," I grunted at her, trying not to make eye contact.

"Oh yes, here we are, Cullen, room 32." Rose stepped in front of me, grabbed our keys, and gave the woman a huge dazzling smile.

"Come on, Honey, let's go to _our_ room." She emphasized the word _our_, and I just smiled at the woman as a scowl appeared on her face.

"Lead the way, Baby."

The room was small but cozy. There was a large king sized bed in the middle of the room with bedside cabinets at each side. The walls were beige with a painting above the bed.

I placed our bags on the desk in front of me and turned around to find Rose sitting on the edge of the bed. She was putting her hair into a high ponytail. I stared at her for a couple of minutes.

There was no doubt that Rose was a beautiful woman- she was tall, curvy, blonde, and had a passion for cars. She could bring any man to his knees and was unbelievably loyal to the people she loved.

She was my best friend.

She was also Bella's best friend, and was the only person who stood by me in everything I did. She supported me when I changed my major and never judged my reasons for doing it. She has joined me on every trip I have taken to find Bella. She was the only person that sat beside my hospital bed, all-night, waiting for me to wake after I tried to fucking end my life. She was the one who broke my nose when she found a bag of coke in my flat. She was the one who was with me when I brought Tanya home for the first time. Tanya was the one that made me feel something again. She made me want to live, to love. Rosalie was the one who guided me, supported me, believed in me, and listened to me cry about my heartache.

Rose was always the strong one in our relationship.

But right now, she looked weak and vulnerable- she didn't look like Rose I knew.

I moved and sat beside her and placed my arm around her waist so she wouldn't try to move away.

"Rose?"

She turned and looked at me- her big blue eyes were glassed over with tears.

"Talk to me. We're not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on."

She sighed and wiped the tears that had fallen. She whispered something so low I couldn't hear.

"What?"

Still not looking at me she answered, a little louder this time.

"I'm pregnant."

"Pregnant? Rose look at me, please?"

She lifted her head and turned toward me. _Pregnant? _I'm sure my face showed how shocked I was, but I tried to keep my emotion in check.

"Why are crying? Don't you want this?" I asked.

"Agh, I do. I've always wanted kids, you know that; but I wanted to be married first, with a job and house." She pulled away from my arms and started to pace the tiny floor in front of me.

"How am I going to look after a baby, Edward? I'm still at college, I don't have any money, and I live in a dorm with three other girls."

"Who's the dad?" I asked. Rose wasn't the type of girl who would just sleep with a guy because she felt like it. So I had an idea who it was, and I was praying I was wrong.

The look on her face told me that I wasn't

"For fucks sake Rose! After everything he's done, you go back with him?" I was trying not to shout at her, she was upset enough.

"He's changed?"

"Really, have you fucking told him?" She just nodded her head, telling me she hadn't told him.

"Why not? If he's changed so fucking much, then why have you not told him?" I yelled at her.

"I thought he had changed his mind about us, I thought he wanted to get back together," she yelled back at me, a sob escaped her.

"He told me that he was sorry, that he still loved me, but didn't want to be with me." Her voice broke at the end. I moved across the room and wrapped my arms around her. I knew she still loved Emmett, he was her Bella. I just never understood why he dumped her when he needed her the most and continues to push her away.

"Shh, it will be ok, I promise."

"Can we talk about this later? We need to get to the hospital right now," she mumbled into my chest. I ran my hand up and down her back hoping to comfort her in some way.

"Okay. We will talk about this later, everything will be okay. I promise, Rose." I looked into her eyes, my green on her blue, making sure she knew how serious I was. She nodded her head, again, that she understood.

"I'm just going to wash my face then we can go."

I now hated fucking hospitals- the antiseptic and old food smells, the coldness, even the sound of everyone's fucking shoes got on my nerves.

I no longer believed it to be a place for people to heal, for doctors to save lives, and for children to be miraculously brought into the world. Now it was a building that was full of individuals suffering in pain, ready to die and leave this world- which left their families to be ripped apart at having their loved one's lives be stolen from them.

It was a place that I now feared.

My biggest fear was that it would be in a hospital morgue where I would have to say goodbye to _my love_ after I looked upon her lifeless body laid out on a cold stainless steel table draped in a starchy white sheet. I thought it would get easier the more I did this, but every time I stood outside the swinging doors, I found it harder to force myself through them_._

I paced outside the doors where I knew the girl- that Jenks believed to be my Bella- lay behind. My hands felt hot and sweaty, and the acid was rolling around in my stomach which made me nauseated- waiting for the exit sign up to my throat. My mind was praying that it was not her, that I could spend at least one more day believing she was out there, alive.

After about half an hour Rose and I walked through the doors. I always called them the doors of destruction- no matter who was behind those doors, somebody was losing a loved one. Someone's life was being destroyed. _Please don't let it be mine?_

Rose grabbed my hand squeezing it hard. I knew this was just as hard for her- Bella was like a sister to Rose. Over the last four years, she has become like sister to me, and I was fucking grateful she was here.

I stared at the glass window- which separated us, in a smaller room, from the body inside the main room of the morgue- waiting for the curtains to open. My body felt so heavy, so heavy that it was almost falling to the ground. I squeezed Rose's hand tighter, trying to hold onto something that was real because this didn't feel real. It never did.

"Edward, breath," Rose whispered into my ear.

I closed my eyes really tight and started to take deep breaths. I felt like I was drunk, my body was shaking and my head felt like it was swaying as if I was standing on a boat. I guessed it was also like I was floating, but I couldn't get off the ground, as my body was weighted down. I was always nervous and felt the nausea in my stomach when viewing a body- the feelings were almost the same as when you are waiting for the dentist to pull your teeth out, or the feeling you get in the pit of your stomach as you wait for the big drop on rollercoaster rides.

But this feeling was more than ever, it was deeper, and it was scaring the shit out of me.

"Edward, are you going to be okay?"

I just nodded my head. I was scared the nausea would have finally made its way up to my throat.

"The curtains are opening," she informed me.

_I could do this. It is not Bella, it is not Bella._

I felt Rose gasp and throw her head into my chest which made my eyes fly open.

There, laid out on a cold table, was a young girl about nineteen, twenty. She had long brown hair that flowed down the side of her body. Her face was pale and innocent- she looked like she was sleeping. I could see the bruises around her neck. She was murder, someone had marked her body.

I felt the burn in my stomach build as I stared that the girl, it grew stronger the longer I stared.

I wanted to scream, but I couldn't move my body, all of it shook.

It felt like I was standing there for hours, even though it was only minutes, maybe even seconds. I tried to take a deep breath when I realized I was a panting a little.

My brain was telling me to look away, but my eyes refused to move, freezing my body in place.

That changed the moment that burning began to become too much, and I turned around, pulled away from Rosalie, and heaved into the corner of the room.

**_Oh, poor Edward. What do you think. PLease review._**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey, I'm really, really sorry for the lateness in this chapter. I have had a so much going on right now with my new job and getting Speak up to date. I know a lot of you don't like Edward right now, He doesn't like himself much either and this chapter will not make his case any better. But I do ask that you trust me. Check out my blog, it has pictures of clothes from each chapter, pictures of past of present ages of character etc. Link is on my profile.**

**I do not own twilight, but I do own PRM. **

**Sorry again for the lateness. Bblou**

_Previously_

_I wanted to scream, but I couldn't move my body, all of it shook. _

_It felt like I was standing there for hours, even though it was only minutes, maybe even seconds. I tried to take a deep breath when I realized I was a panting a little._

_My brain was telling me to look away, but my eyes refused to move, freezing my body in place. _

_That changed the moment that burning began to become too much, and I turned around, pulled away from Rosalie, and heaved into the corner of the room. _

Chapter 3- A promise

Edward

"Give me another." I slammed my hand down on the bar and glared at the bartender. I knew I shouldn't drink this shit after I emptied my entire stomach back at the hospital. But fuck, I needed something to get the images of that dead girl out of my fucking mind.

"$12.00," the bartender mumbled. I threw him a fifty and told him to leave the bottle. I had no plans of moving off this fucking seat anytime soon.

I drank my drink and enjoyed the sharp burn of the whiskey as it slid down my throat. I felt as it started to take affect- my body getting all warm and fuzzy. I snorted at myself, _warm and fuzzy_. I must have thrown up my balls as well back at the hospital; only chicks said shit like that.

I refilled my now empty glass- from the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of black hair as a woman took the seat next to me. I didn't look at her, but I felt her eyes on me as she ordered some fruity shit.

Usually, I would take advantage of a women sitting next to me- she was clearly waiting for me to make a move. But after the shitting day I'd had, I wasn't sure if I wanted to go there.

I had just seen some poor fucking girl's dead body, not even half an hour ago. The images were still fresh in my mind; and the fucking thing that scared the shit out of me- is the fact she looked so much like Bella. She also had long brown hair, a slim body, and Bella's little button nose. Every other girl I've seen had some detail of the description that I had given Jenks about Bella, but usually, it was clear as day that they were not her. But today, my eyes thought it was her.

For a just a few seconds, I felt the most intense pain in my heart, the emptiness in my soul, and the breakdown of my body. For just a few seconds, I believed that she was Bella, and I know that I never wanted to feel that type of pain again. The shit I felt everyday was nothing compared the pain I felt in those few seconds.

I took a deep sigh and emptied my glass again.

"Hello," the women finally spoke.

"Hi," I answered, still not looking at her.

"Rough day?" She asked me, her voice gentle and elegant.

I turned around to look at her. Her long black hair flowed gently down her back, just passed her waist. Her olive skin glistened under the dim lights, her green eyes glinted with excitement, and her rough lips were wide, which allowed me a flash of her pearly whites. I quickly scanned her body; she was skinny - too skinny for my taste- but her legs went on for miles underneath her short black dress.

"Something like that," I muttered and turned my attention back to my drink.

"I'm, Kelly."

"Anthony." I slurred, the alcohol had kicked in, and I suddenly felt light headed.

"Do you want to talk about it, Anthony?" She added a little purr when she said my name, creating my stomach to churn.

I took a closer look at her.

"How old are you?" I asked.

"Does it matter?" She laughed in response. I chuckled with her.

"Guess not." I watched her drink her fruity shit. If I had to guess, I would say she was at least twice my age. I have heard stories of older women hitting on young guys at bars, but this was a first for me.

"So, I'm guessing girl trouble?" She asked, twirling the mini umbrella around her glass.

I snorted in response and gulped the rest of my drink.

"You're a hard nut to crack, aren't you?" Kelly hummed. I could feel her move closer to me. Her body was inches away from mine and for some fucked up reason, I wanted to crawl into her lap and cry about my shit. I wanted her to run her fingers threw my hair and tell that everything would be okay, just like my mom used to do.

My thoughts quickly turned to my mom; I felt an ache in my heart for her. I wanted to go to her. I wanted her to make me feel better, but I knew that wouldn't happen, not anymore. I didn't have a mother anymore. I didn't deserve a mother anymore.

I shook my head in irritation. I needed to get out of here. I needed to find Rose.

_Rose? Where the fuck was Rose? _

"I've got to go," I stuttered as I quickly stood up from my seat. I almost lost my balance and leaned against the chair to hold my body up right.

"Here, let me help you," Kelly purred and grabbed my arms.

"Don't touch me!" I groaned. Kelly's eyes grew wide and I could see the hurt in them.

"Shit, I'm sorry, I'm a mess and … fuck, I'm sorry, okay." She gave me a small smile, but that just made me feel more like shit. "I've gotta go, I'm really sorry, Kelly." I gave her a small kiss on the cheek and stumbled my way to the door.

The cold air prickled my skin when I emerged outside. I could hear the music from the bar, and people mumbled in the back ground. I looked around for Rose, but all I could see were dark shadowy figures as they walked up and down the street.

What the fuck was I thinking? I walked out of that fucking hospital and straight to the first bar I could find. I hadn't even given Rose a fucking thought. What kind of shitty friend am I? I pulled my phoned from my pocket and pressed redial.

"Edward," she answered her voice low and tender.

"Where are you?" I asked and tried to keep my breathing normal.

"Just grabbing something to eat," she answered. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Where are you?" I could hear people talking and numbers being shouted in the background.

I turned around and looked back at bar. I never paid attention to the name when I entered. I looked at the sign and had to laugh at that shit.

"Black Magic Voodoo," I chuckled.

"Alright, well I'm at The Brazen Head, stay where you are and I'll get a cab to you, okay?"

"Mm hmm," I answered and hung up the phone.

I sat on ground and tried not to think about what a shitting day this had been.

My thoughts drifted to Rose and Emmett. How the fuck could he do that to her? I knew he used to love her; he used to take care of her, protect her. Now, he just used her and then tossed her to the fucking road. Well if he thinks I'm just going to fucking sit back and watch him destroy my friend, then he'd better fucking think again.

Images of Emmett, on his knees, as he begged for me to stop, blood poured from his busted lip, and his eyes were swollen shut and bruised- flashed before my eyes. I chuckled at him while he pleaded with me.

"Isabella, wait." A deep voice growled from the street across from me. My head snapped up, and I could see a blurred woman walking up the street while some guy tried to catch up with her.

"Isabella, please, it's not what it looked like," he yelled.

_Isabella? Bella?_

I stood up and tried to get a good look at the woman. She was tall with short dark hair. Bella could have cut her hair in the last four years; she could have changed the style, I reasoned with myself. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a dark green hoodie. I slowly walked across the street. I wanted to get a closer look at the woman without scaring her.

The man had finally caught up with her, and they were now stopped on the corner of the street. I couldn't make out the woman's face.

"Please, let me explain?" The man pleaded with her. I moved closer, her face was now hidden behind the man's shadow. I could make out the shape of her body, the curve of her hips, and the length of her legs; but the over sized hoodie covered her top half, making her lose her womanly figure.

"I don't want to hear it, Matt, I've had enough of your lies," she yelled.

Her voice was hard and thick with emotion; I tried really hard to remember what Bella's voice sounded like, but I couldn't remember. I knew it was soft and sweet, but so were most girls.

_Why can't I remember her voice?_

I knew that I had to see this woman more closely. I had to talk to her. I had to find out if she was Bella.

_My Bella._

My heart beat sped up, and my palms shook and were sweaty. I had dreamed of all the ways that I would find her. But to find her on a sidewalk, as she argued with some asshole, was not what I imagined.

I decided that I was going to stop thinking and just move. The alcohol in my system gave me the courage I needed, and I felt my feet move before I knew what I was doing- I started running across to the woman.

As I got closer, I could make out her round face and deep brown hair.

My heart leapt into my mouth, it was Bella. It was my Bella. I had finally found her.

An overwhelming sense of longing swept over me- it almost felt like a dream. I was running across a street to find my long lost love.

I ignored the man that was standing in front of her and pushed my way passed him. I had to get to Bella; I had to get her away from here- protect her, keep her safe, and make sure that no one could ever take her away from me again.

"Bella, Bella," I yelled at the women and grabbed her face in order to stare into those beautiful eyes. "Bella, I found you. I fucking found you baby."

I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed her tight against my body. "I'll protect you, you're safe now," I whispered in her ear.

"Hey, man! Get your hands off my girlfriend!" The asshole yelled.

Rosalie

"Where to?" The taxi driver asked me. I giggled quietly, remembering the name of the bar Edward was at. Only Edward could end up somewhere with such a ridiculous name.

"The Black Magic Voodoo, please," I answered and tucked into my burger; I didn't care how I looked. I felt like I had not eaten in weeks, even though it had only been a couple of hours. My body was changing already, nothing visible yet, but I knew that it was, I could feel it. The morning sickness has been nightmare the last couple of days. I was not sure what I was going to do. I was only nineteen, almost twenty years old, in my first year of college, and pregnant by a guy that didn't want me anymore. There was no way I could raise a baby, no matter how much I wanted too.

I was not planning on telling Edward today, but I had to tell someone. It was times like these that I missed my best friend the most. Edward was amazing, and I loved him to pieces; but sometimes, you needed your female friend or your mom. Since I had neither, Edward was the only person I could turn too.

Ever since Bella disappeared, Edward and I have developed a strong friendship. For the first few months, everyone gathered together to hunt for Bella. Everyone believed that she had been kidnapped. No–one mentioned the possibility of her leaving on her own free will. Edward was the person to say she had been kidnapped and most people agreed with him. But as the weeks turned into months, then they turned into years, people's opinions changed; they stopped looking for her. Edward refused to accept that she would leave him and so did I. I knew my best friend, I knew how happy she was, how much in love she was. She had her life planned out- what college she was going to, where Edward and she would live, even how many kids they'd have. Why, the fuck, would she have spent so much time and energy planning her future, just for her to leave in the middle of the night?

So, for the last two years, it has just been Edward and me- flying from city to city as we looked for, Bella.

"You're here, Miss." I paid the driver and stepped out the taxi. I could hear a woman scream, and I turned to see what was happening.

There was Edward, across the street from the bar, with some guy pinned to the ground. Fuck. Does he ever stop? Everywhere we go, Edward, always ends up in a fight with some asshole. He has been arrested more times than I can remember, over the years for his temper. If it wasn't for Charlie, Edward wouldn't have the clean record he has now- Charlie loves Edward, he always has. Edward was another son to him, and I know it still tears Charlie apart to see the distance between Edward and Emmett now. They used to be so close growing up. If Emmett ever found out that Charlie still helped Edward look for Bella, he would never talk to Charlie again. He always believed that Charlie favored Edward over him, no matter how many times I told him he was wrong, he never believed me.

I raced across the road and grabbed Edward's shirt by the back of his collar and choked him in the process. He quickly let go of the man and tried to pull his shirt away from his neck.

"Edward, you need to calm the fuck down," I hissed.

He nodded his head and I let him go. He fell on his ass, coughing and wheezing.

"What the fuck, Rose? Were you trying to choke me to death?" He coughed.

"Sorry, Sweets, it was the only thing I could think of to calm you down. I didn't realize the shirt was choking you," I answered and sat down beside him.

The man that was on the ground stood up, he looked at me with fear in his eyes.

"You're fucking crazy," he moaned and grabbed the woman beside him. "Come on, Isabella." The woman went with him, clinging to his arm.

"What happened this time?" I asked.

Edward looked at me, tears in his green eyes. His shoulders hunched over his knees that he had pulled up against his chest. He looked like the little boy I grew up with, his small freckles glowed under the street lights.

"I thought she was, Bella," he whispered. "I heard him arguing with her, and I don't know Rose… I thought maybe she'd cut her hair or something and then… fuck, he was yelling at her, and I got pissed, so I started yelling at him and shit…," he rambled.

"For fucks sake, Edward! Just because you're drunk and upset, it doesn't give you the right to just punch the guy."

"I know that, Rose. I thought she was Bella," he growled, his hand tugged his hair.

I sighed, "Edward, you have to go and see someone."

"NO!" he yelled, the anger was rolling off him. I had mentioned this to him before. He needed to talk to someone who could help him. He wouldn't talk to his parents anymore, unless it was about Tanya; he has cut off all of his friends, except me. He needed someone professional to talk to.

"You need to get help with your temper, Edward. You can't go around and start fights all the time. You've only been working as FBI for three months, and Jasper says you're on your final warning for your behavior. He says that if it wasn't for Aro, you wouldn't be there now. If you lose your job, then what? How are you going to find Bella then? How are you going to find people like Tanya, huh? And what if that was Bella tonight? How would beating up the guy she was with help her?"

"Shut up, Rose, I get it," he snarled.

"Don't tell me to shut up asshole. You need to get your shit together. All the fighting, drinking, and, not to mention, the fucking women." He looked at me, his eyes blazed with shock and anger, but I was not giving up. I stood and paced in front of him, I don't know where all the energy came from; but I was on a roll and he was going to hear it. "Yeah, I know about them. You're a dick Edward. It's been four years now and we still can't find her, I'm starting to think we never will and-"

I was cut off when Edward jump and pinning me to the wall.

"Don't you fucking say that, not you, Rose!" His face was inches from mine. The alcohol on his breath was making me nauseous. I wasn't scared of him. I knew he would never hurt me. He could beat up all the guys he wanted, but he would never touch a woman, and he would never touch me- he loved me, I know he does.

He took a deep breath and looked me straight in the eye; I knew that I was crying. I could feel the tears on my cheeks. I stared at him and watched his face soften, his eyes coated with his own tears, and I could see the pain in them. "Fuck, Rose. I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry." I watched him back away from me; he let out a loud growl and punched the wall next to me.

"Edward, stop," I yelled.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered. His body gave out on him and he fell to the ground. I sat beside him, he turned around, and I pulled his head onto my lap.

"It's okay, just promise me that when we get home, you will get some help with your temper and see a fucking therapist. You need to move on, Edward. It's been four years and -"

"I'm not fucking giving up."

"I'm saying you should. I don't want you to, but you do need to move on. You need to accept that maybe you will never find her. You need to build a life for yourself, Edward. Let's just start with the therapy." I announced. I didn't want him to stop looking for Bella, but he needed to be happy somehow.

"Okay, on one condition?" He answered.

"And what's that?" He kissed my torso and sat up facing me with a crooked smile on his teary stained face and hope shined in his eyes.

"You keep the baby, you can move in with me, and I'll help you take care of her until you can manage on your own."

"You've fucking lost it. I can't keep this baby, Edward," I dragged my now cold ass off the ground and started walking away.

"Yes you can. I know you don't want to give her up, Rose."

"I'm tired. Let's get you to the hospital; we can talk about it later."

"Fine!" He huffed and followed me.

XXX

Edward fell asleep as soon as we got back from the hospital. He had broken a couple of bones in his hand, but nothing too bad. I quickly showered, changed and crawled into bed. I closed my eyes and waited for sleep to come, but all I could see was a small little girl. She had brown curly hair, small dimples, and big blue eyes.

I thought about Edward's offer earlier. Could I really keep this baby? I knew that I always wanted to be a mom. But I always thought that I was would be married and at least thirty when I had kids. What would Emmett say if I told him? Would he want her? Would he want me?

Arghh! What would Edward's role be in her life then? If we lived with him and he took care of her when I was at college. Would he think he would be her father? No, he doesn't want that. I'm sure that he would change his mind if he knew what it would be like to look after a baby. Shit, what if I agreed to his offer and then he changes his mind when the baby was born? What would I do then?

"What are you thinking so hard about?" He whispered. I turned to face his sleepy face.

"The baby," I mumbled back.

A smile graced his lips before he replied, "It's going to be okay, Rose."

"How can you believe that?" I asked. I could not see how this would work.

"Because, you…" he tipped me on the nose with his finger, "are going to be a great mom, and I am going to be the best uncle."

"How can you be so sure, Edward? What about Emmett?"

He took a deep sigh and rolled onto his back. "Emmett won't let you do this alone, Rose. He'll be angry at first, but he will do what's right for his kid. I know he's being a dick right now. But I know he still loves you, and he will love his kid too- plus, you'll have me." He turned to look at me, "I will take care of you no matter what you decide to do. If you honestly don't want this baby, then I'll support you; but I know you do, and if you do decide to keep it, then move out of that shithole and move into my apartment. You can have the spare room, and I'll turn the gym into a room for the baby. Tanya will just have to share either my bed or yours when she stays over."

I didn't know what to say. I could tell that he was serious; he was looking at me with so much hope and joy.

"What do you want to do, Rose?" He asked.

"I don't know," I answered honestly.

"Okay, just answer me one question, truthfully." I nodded my head. "Do you want this baby?"

Did I? That was the real question. Did I want to keep this growing blip inside of me- this little baby that was half mine and half Emmett's?

"Yes," I whispered.

Edward smiled widely, "Then that's settled." He kissed my forehead before he rolled over again and went to sleep.

It wasn't until I closed my eyes and moved my hand over my torso that I allowed myself to smile. I was going to be a mom, and with that thought, sleep overtook me.

**What do you think? Is Rose doing the right thing? What will Emmett say when he finds out. Please leave me a review and let me know what you're thinking. **


	4. Chapter 4

_**Hey, guys. I know I haven't updated in forever and I can't say how sorry I am. My life has been so busy lately and Speak has just been taken over. I still have my exams until the end of the month. I will not promise a date for other update as my word now, doesn't mean much. So I'm hope that you amazing guys will stick with me and after my exams my weekly updates will win you back over. **_

_**This chapter is a little shorter as it has a lot of information in it and we finally get to meet Tanya. **_

_**Hugs and thanks to my beta cedward2417**_

_**I do not own twilight just Lostward.**_

Chapter 4 – Dragons & Punishment

Edward

I woke up to banging inside my head. Argh, why did I always drink so much?

I peeled one eye slowly open. Everything was blurry.

"You'd better get up before we miss our flight," Rose yelled into my ear.

"Argh, fuck, Rose, do you have to be so loud?" I groaned. The room finally came into view.

"Maybe you shouldn't drink so much?"

"Yeah, yeah," I grumbled and made my way to the shower.

The hot shower was actually what my body needed. The warm water soothed my body as I washed the dirt away. I quickly got dried and dressed.

"Rose, what time is it?" I asked walking back into the room.

"Almost nine thirty."

"I should call Jasper; I need to find out what happened in Vegas." Rose nodded her head and continued with her packing.

I picked up my phone and dialed Jasper's number, hoping he wasn't still mad at me.

"About time you called," his southern accent pierced my brain.

"Did you find him?"

"Nope, dead end," he sighed.

"Great. Did Aro call?" I took a deep breath while I waited on the answer.

"No, not yet. Are you on your way home?"

"Yeah, we're just getting ready to leave now," I hummed.

"I'm guessing that it wasn't, Bella?" He mumbled into the phone, his voice low, but firm.

"No, but I don't want to talk about it. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Sure," was all he answered before I ended the call.

"Everything okay?" Rose appeared next to me- her fruity perfume swarming around my nose.

"Yeah, Aro never called so everything is good." I sighed. I knew I was pushing my luck at work. I had left college and demanded that my godfather get me a job with him. At first he refused. He said I needed to work my ass off for the position I was asking for, and that there were men who had waited years to get where I wanted to be. But after weeks of camping outside his door, he finally gave me a job. Aro wanted to make sure I was serious and understood the importance of my job. He knew about my weak spot for children, so he gave me the Miller case. That was when I was first partnered with Jasper Whitlock. I spent every minute of my existence working on that case. I knew that if I failed, I would be working "a desk" for a very long time.

Finding Tanya Miller, not only saved my job, but she saved a part of me that I thought was dead. She showed me that I was still worthy of being loved, and that I could love someone again. I knew my love for Tanya and Rose was not the same as my love for, Bella. Tanya and Rose were like sisters to me- they were my family- the family that I had chosen for myself.

Ever since I found Tanya in that basement, I've worked relentlessly at my job. However, my temper still controlled me, and I got slapped with my final fucking warning the other day. One more fight and I lost my position. Aro was not giving me anymore chances (his words, not mine.)

"So, when are you moving in?" I smirked.

"When you start your therapy," she smirked back. Fuck, I didn't think I would actually have to do that.

"I'll have the weekend off. We can move your shit in then." I tugged at my hair.

"I'm not moving my stuff in until you have made an appointment to see a therapist," she huffed.

"For fucks sake, Rose, I said I would. I fucking promised you last night." Between everything that happened yesterday and the throbbing in my hand, I was not in the mood for Rose's demands.

"Fine, but if you don't stick to your side of this agreement, then I'll make sure that you can never have kids of your own." She threatened and walked back into the room.

"Fuck." She really was going to make me do this shit. I sighed loudly. Well I didn't have to do it right now.

XXX

My headache had settled by the time I got to my empty apartment. It was only just after lunchtime, but it felt like evening. I knew that I was exhausted; both physically and mentally, unfortunately I also knew that I would not get any sleep right now.

What do I do now? I still believed that Bella was out there somewhere, she was alive, but was she really waiting for me to find her? Does she even want me to find her? What if Jasper's right? What if she doesn't want me anymore, or she isn't the same girl anymore? What do I do then? Where does that leave me?

I have spent the last four years, walking around with this burning anger towards everyone. I pushed my family away, my best friend, everyone I knew. Why? They wanted to move forward with their lives, and they wanted me to move forward with mine. I had refused to accept that Bella was gone. I would wait in her bedroom pretending that she was out with Rose and that when she got back, she'd smile that beautiful smile, and I would be whole again. After almost eight months, Emmett refused to let me anywhere near her room. I made him promise that he'd let me know if she came back. He gave me a sad dimpled smile and replied, "Of course, Bro."

I sat on the edge of my bed and stared at the photo of Bella beside my bed.

"What do I do, Bell?" I asked out loud. "How do I accept that you're gone? I mean really gone. I know you're not here in person but..." I laid my head on my pillow and lifted my legs onto my bed. "Do I stop looking for you? Do I just pretend that everything is fine? Do I just forget that there is a part of me missing?"

I took the photo from the bedside cabinet. It was a headshot of Bella and me from my parent's Christmas party. Her head lay on my shoulder, my arms wrapped tightly around her. Our faces were bright and young; they were full of innocence and love. That was the last Christmas we shared together. My parents threw a party again the year after. I turned up drunk and high- I screamed at them for being selfish bastards, throwing parties when Bella was missing. I said some horrible things to my parents that night, Emmett too. I smashed my piano, and destroyed my room and my mother's guest room- the one Bella used to stay in- apart.

I don't remember much else from that night; I just remembered waking up on someone's bathroom floor covered in blow and my own fucking piss, two days later.

My phone rang loudly in my pocket; I looked at the screen and groaned in annoyance.

"Cullen," I grunted.

"Aro's holding a briefing this afternoon at two, it's mandatory." Jasper barked.

"Fine." I hung up before he could say anything else.

I quickly dialed the one person I hated calling, but I didn't have a choice. If I wanted to see Tanya today, I had to make the call.

"Edward, Darling." My mother's voice chimed through my ears.

"Hey, can I pick Tanya up later?" I asked. I hated fucking asking anything of my mom.

"Sure, Honey. What time?"

"I have a meeting at work at two; I don't think I'll be done in time to get her from school," I explained.

"You can pick her up from here, Honey." She paused and I knew what she was going to say and I held my breath and prayed that she wouldn't ask. "Why don't you come for dinner? I'm making your favorite, and I know your dad would be so happy to you." Her voice quivered as she spoke, and I killed me every time she asked me, but I knew I had to refuse. I couldn't sit at the family table and face her after everything I did, no matter how much I wanted to.

"I can't, I'm sorry. Tell Tanya to come out when I get there." I pinched the bridge of nose with my free hand, trying not to cry. I had cried enough in that last twenty-four hours.

"If you're sure, Edward, you know you're always welcome."

"I know," I answered before I hung up. I sat on the edge of my bed and tugged at my hair. "Could this day get any worse?" I muttered aloud.

My question was answered an hour later. Yes, it fucking could!

XXX

I jumped when the office door slammed behind me. I could hear Aro's deep breathing as he tried to calm himself down. It reminded me of a dragon I once saw on TV when I was a kid- I can't remember the name of the program, but the dragon would take a few deep breaths right before he blew a gust of fire at the baddies and saved the day. I was just trying not to squirm in my seat as I waited for my neck to be burned.

When he had finally got himself under control, Aro slowly sat in his chair and stared at me. I could see the rage building behind those ebony eyes. His mouth sat in a straight line and a furrow graced his bushy eyebrows.

I sighed. I seem to be doing that a lot.

"He had it coming." Was my bright excuse for my behavior. I guessed Aro didn't agree when he slammed his fist on his desk- hard.

"Look, Aro..." I started to explain.

"ENOUGH!" He yelled. He fucking yelled. I have known Aro all my life. He meet my dad on his first day at college and they've been best friend ever since. He's even my godfather, and in all twenty-three years of my life, I've never heard Aro yell before- especially at me.

"I have had enough of your shit; I can only do so much for you Edward. I can't baby you anymore."

"Baby me!" I started to growl.

"Yes, baby you! You're like a five year-old. Always picking fights with the other kids. I feel like your fucking father, not your godfather."

"Aro..."

"SHUT UP!" He cut me off, "You don't get to talk right now." I huffed and sulked in my chair; and just after I did it, I realized how childish I was being.

Aro was quiet for a few minutes. He just stared at me while he rubbed his middle finger over his bottom lip.

For the first time, I thought I was going to lose my job. I had pushed Aro too far. Fuck, how was I going to take care of Rosalie and the baby if I didn't have a job? How was I going to find Bella if I lost my job? I whined at the pain in my hand as I attempt to run it through my hair. I was just at the hospital last night and ended up with a few broken fingers, which didn't even require a cast, just a splint and some tape. However, now, the pain would suggest that I'd busted more than a couple of fingers.

Aro finally broke the uncomfortable silence. "I spoke with Rosalie earlier."

_What?_

"She told me about last night and your agreement." I just shook my head. Why the fuck would she tell him?

"So," was my intelligent reponse.

"For fucks sake, Edward! Lose the fucking attitude. Do you want to lose your job? I am so close to firing your ass."

Shit, he was mad. The rage was steaming from his ear.

"I need this job, Aro. If you've spoken with Rose, then you know that she's moving in with me and why. I need this job to take care of her." I pleaded with him.

"I know, and I promised Rosalie that I will help her, so here is the deal. Do not say a single word until I'm finished. You interrupt me, and you can pack it up and say goodbye to your career with the FBI."

I slowly nodded my head; I was too scared to say anything at the moment.

Aro clasped his hands together and leaned his body over the desk.

"As you're aware, I called a briefing this afternoon. We believe that one of the men involved with James Hunter lives just outside Seattle, so we are sending in two agents undercover. I am sending you as one of the agents, Edward; and so help me God if you fuck this up, it will be more than your job you'll lose. Am I clear?"

"Yes, Sir," I mumbled.

"I will explain the case in the briefing. You will be "moving" just outside of Seattle and will live on the same street, near where we believe this guy stays. I will take care of Rosalie while you are there. You're good at your job when you focus, Edward. Look at what you have done for Tanya." I had to hold my breath; he had to bring her into this.

"One more thing, your first therapy session is on Thursday with Dr. Porter. I will email you the address. If you do not attend, then don't come back to work." I went to argue with him, but the desperate look in his eyes stopped me. "I just wish I had done something earlier. I knew Carlisle tried and failed to get you help. Well now, it's my turn, and I will not fail Edward. I will not let you destroy your life any longer. Bella would be ashamed to see you hurt yourself and others like this."

I could feel my mouth open wide, and my eyes sting from the tears that were welling up. Who was this man in front of me? He has never spoken to me like this before. His words were harsh and to bring Tanya and Bella into this, just pissed me off. I know he's not talking as my boss, but as my godfather. The man who taught me how to shoot, how to ride my first motorbike- the man who made me pancakes for breakfast whenever I stayed over as a kid. I took a closer look at him. His brown hair had more grey in it then I remembered, his eyes were dark with bags, and his pain was clear across his face. How have I never noticed these changes before now? Have I been so selfish, mopping about my own problems, that I missed the changes in my godfather? I have seen him almost every day since I started working here, but I can't actually remember the last time we had a real conversation. He did visit a few times when I was in college, but I was so shut off from the world that I barely registered that he was even there.

"Let's go, we're late already." I stood up and followed him out of his office.

Everyone was gathered in the main office. The board on the wall was filled with notes, photos, maps, etc., and I could see a row of photos of all the children that have disappeared within the last year. Their ages ranged from ten to sixteen, both male and female. Every time I thought of what kinds of sick bastards that would kidnap young children made my stomach turn.

"Alright, everyone gather round." Aro commanded. Everyone quickly took their seats, they were about twenty of us here camped into this tiny conference room.

I looked over at Dave. His left eye was red and swollen. I did feel bad for punching him about an hour ago- but the guy really does get on my nerves. I just asked him to move out of my way, and he started mumbling about me being a dick and shit. That kind of shit I can take, but the moment he mentioned my mother, I lost it. I can talk shit about my mom – which I don't- but no-one else gets to say anything about her. I may have only said a hand full of words to her over the last couple of years, but she's still my mom.

"Alright, as most of you are aware, this man right here is James Hunter." Aro introduced the suspect by pointing to a picture on the wall of people as he was talking. "We have reason to believe that James Hunter is the lead suspect for this case. In the last year twelve children have disappeared or have been kidnapped. Over the last four and half to five years, twenty-one children have disappeared or have been kidnapped. These figures are from Seattle, Forks and Port Angeles only. All of these children are sixteen and under, male and females. We believe that James Hunter is the man that is linked to finding if not some, but all of these children." A dull ache settles within me. Could this man be linked to Bella? Aro has never mentioned him to me personally before. He mentioned that he may be involved with Tanya's kidnapping, but he was ruled out quickly when we discovered the reasons for Tanya being kidnapped in the first place.

"Recent evidence suggests that one of James's men lives just outside of Seattle. Agent Cullen and Agent Mallory will be the two agents working undercover to get us the information we need and finally catch this man."

_What the fuck? Lauren!_

"Agent Steel will now go over this case and what is required from you." I glared at his lean body, puffing my chest out at him. He could tell by my face that I was not happy. Why Lauren? Out of all the women working here, he had to pick Lauren? I hated that girl, woman, whatever she was. I went to high school with her and she made it her daily job to harass Bella. What the fuck is Aro doing? He knows I don't like her. The feelings were mutual on her end as well. Now I have to go undercover with her. Shit. This was punishment for my behavior. Fuck, Aro has a sick sense of humor.

Agent Steel spent the next half hour explaining everything we knew about James Hunter and the people who worked for him. For the last year, James Hunter has been orchestrating these kidnappings, but we still had no idea why. Some believed that he was selling the victims to couples who couldn't have children; but then wouldn't he be kidnapping newborns and not ten to sixteen year-olds? Some mentioned him maybe having a cult and was using the victims as human sacrifices. I had my own theories that I felt too sick to mention right now.

My day got worse when I was informed that not only was I working with Lauren on this case, but I had to move into an undercover house for the next couple of months and pretend that we were happily married. Once the briefing was over, I stormed my way out of the building and into my car. I was angry that I was being made to work with Lauren, but overall, I really wanted to work on this case. If I was honest, I was actually excited to do this. I wanted to stop those fuckers from getting their hands on anybody's kids again.

I pulled up outside the house I once called home. It was still beautiful with its white stoned exterior and double-hung sash windows. This was once a place that I felt safe and loved. Now I felt resentment and emptiness. I smiled as I watched Tanya race out of the front door towards my car- her long blonde hair following behind her. All the anger I felt from today vanished, and I was left with nothing but a smile and a little bit of hope.

"Hey, Eddie." Her warm giggle washed over me.

"T," I grinned.

"We're going for ice-cream, right?" She asked already knowing the answer.

"Of course," I replied. "Now buckle up, Sweetheart." She did as she was told and I quickly started the car and drove away- never looking back at the house where I knew my mother stood at the front door. She always stood there and watched us drive away.

_**What do you think? Should I keep going? Are there any readers left?**_

_**Do you want to hear from Bella pov? And what she has been up to or do you want the entire story told through Edwards's pov. Let me know.**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys, well that's my exam finished for the summer, thank you to everyone who reviews, keep them coming. FF has fixed the reply problem so I will be able to reply to everyone, it is done through private messaging now.**

**Anyway here is chapter 5, it's very short and not really a pleasant chapter to read. It's a mystery person as I wanted to confuse you some more. He will appear a few times throughout the story in the same form as this one.**

**Warning - this chapter does contain mature themes with children. I will not be writing this event again, when we meet the mystery man again it will involve a different event. **

**I do not own Twilight, but I do own PRM.**

**Thank you to my amazing beta, cedward2417**

Chapter 5

?POV

I watched the street wake up. The sun slowly rose, casting strikes of pink and orange over the town. The grass was still wet from last night's rain, so I stood, on the now dry, pathway. Today, I was leaving my wife for a job that I had been doing for six years. A job that I knew was wrong; I knew was illegal, but the adrenaline rush I got from it- I could never find anywhere else. The way my heart raced, my blood pumped with excitement and every nerve cell tingled with pleasure.

"Good morning," I yelled at my neighbor.

"Oh, good morning, you're up early?" Her voice was laced with surprise.

"I have to leave early for a business trip," I worked my charm, "so I thought I would watch the sun rise before I have to leave." Mrs. Nickel smiled at me, her eyes dreamy and her body relaxed.

I loved how easy women were, and I meant that with the greatest respect. I just had to tell them what they wanted to hear- while smiling my pearly whites and running my eyes over their body with a look that said:_ I liked what I saw._ I would then have them eating out of the palm of my hand. It was that simple.

Even my wife believed the shit I told her. I have gotten away with hiding a shit load of drugs in our house- she believed that my business partner is my cousin and that I'm a door to door salesman.

Yeah right! Sales? Me? No, I was a real man and real men didn't fucking do door to door sales.

Hmm, I wondered what she would say if she knew my real job?

"Where is the trip?" Mrs. Nickel asked, bringing me back to the present.

"Port Angeles, this time, I should go and get ready," I announced and made my way into the house.

I walked up the stairs and headed into the bedroom. My wife slept peacefully; curled on her side, her blonde hair was all I could see of her.

I quickly showered, dressed, and packed for my trip. I headed for the kitchen- my palms were itching with excitement. I tried rubbing them on my pants, but it didn't help. So, I poured myself a cup of coffee, and tried to relax, but my body was too wired.

"Are you leaving already?" My wife asked as she entered the room. She was wearing a silk peach chemise that showed off her golden legs. I couldn't help but stare at them as she walked past me.

"Yep," was my intelligent answer.

"When do you get back?"

"In four days, I've told you this already," I barked.

"Sorry, my brain is not working this morning."

"I have to go. I have left a list for you- make sure that you complete it by the time I get back. Eric will be here at three. I owe him some money, so make sure that he gets what he wants. I don't want a phone call from him later. Understand?"

"Yes," she whispered while staring out of the window.

"Alright," I walked over to her, mounting my body to hers, and wrapped an arm around her waist.

"Please take care of yourself while I'm gone." I kissed her shoulder, then her neck, before nibbling on her ear. "I'm going to miss you, Baby, I love you so much."

"I love you, too," she answered, turning her head and captured me for a kiss. Fuck, I could never get enough of this woman.

I sighed and forced my body away from hers. "Call me at six?" She nodded her head as I left her in the kitchen, while whistling the Superman theme tune and made my way to my car.

_Yeah, my life rocked._

XXX

The day had been and gone, night crawled in a few hours ago and we were very close to our destination. Riley was looking over the file again, making sure we succeeded in our plan.

"Quiz me?" I asked. This was the game we played just before we did a job. It was important that we knew every piece of information that was in the file that was given to us. It was a dangerous job, and if we made one wrong move, it could be a disaster. If we got caught, then death would be arriving at our door within the next twenty-four hours- it was the rules in this line of work. We made promises to keep all information to ourselves, and if the police caught anyone of our co-workers, then they would be killed straight away, so that they couldn't give any information away.

"Girls name?"

"Ashley Chu," I answered with confidence-_ I knew this shit._

"Age?"

"Fourteen," I fired off quickly. "They're getting younger now."

"That's because the little sluts are fucking around before they're even sixteen now," Riley laughed. His blue eyes twinkled with amusement. "Description?"

"Blue eyes, black hair, five foot three, slim, ten fingers, ten toes, shoe size five, and as pure as the day she was born." I chuckled, Riley joined me.

"Bedroom location?"

"Bottom floor, second to the left- easy access," I laughed again, this one was going to a piece of cake.

"Run through scenario?" And I did. For the last twenty minutes of our drive I re-told every detail of the event that was about to take place.

Now, it was time to put it into action.

We pulled up about ten feet from the chosen house, the street was blacked out, and the only light on the street that was working, was on the opposite house. A couple of our co-workers had arrived very early this morning to cut the wires in the street lights.

You have to be very smart in this type of business- large amounts of money and people's lives depended on this job going to plan.

We were dressed in black from head to toe- no part of our flesh was allowed to be on show.

Riley handed me my Maglite® flashlight and a cloth that he coated with chloroform spray- it knocked the kiddies out straight away- and a black clothed bag. We both quickly made our way to the backdoor of the house. Riley carried the small bags with the equipment we needed to get into the house successfully.

We quickly and quietly moved towards the house, we knew the parents were away for the night and there was only the girl and her big sister in the house.

Riley went to work on the back, while I did a circle of the house. We didn't want any unexpected guests- we wanted a nice, peaceful, well done job.

Riley had the door opened by the time I made it back round. We had the same co-workers pretend to be gas men this morning, so that they could cut the wires to the house alarm.

_Very smart men needed for this job._

I listened for a couple of seconds, making sure the sister was asleep. Her bedroom was upstairs in the attic, which was perfect for us.

Once we were sure she was asleep, we tiptoed quietly towards Ashley's room. Everything was going smoothly- this was the point where my excitement was in full force.

_This was what I lived for._

To make our job even easier, the stupid bitch had left her bedroom door wide open. She was inviting us in- waiting and wanting to join us.

My palms were shaking with excitement.

I walked into her room first, since I had the Mag and cloth. Riley followed silently behind. We didn't look at the room- we didn't give two shits what posters she had on her wall, or if she had a TV in there. However, we did make sure that she was the only one in the room, and that there was nothing on the floor that could make any noise.

_Yes, very smart men needed for this job._

Ashley lay in the same position my wife did this morning when I left her- the same position she was probably in now. Her long black hair was tied in a ponytail, giving me a clear view of her face. My heart raced, my mind was clear, and I could not wipe the smile from my face. Some lucky bastard would be so happy tomorrow.

"Hurry up," Riley whispered. He always got a little impatient at this stage.

I knelt down towards the bed, she was very beautiful. I would have liked to have been able to keep her for myself. Maybe one day, I would keep one. My wife could teach one everything she needed to know.

_God, I loved the thought._

But, she belonged to someone else, unfortunately.

I gently placed the cloth over her mouth and her blue eyes flew open with shock.

_Beautiful._

Riley quickly pulled down the covers and the grabbed Ashley's small body up in his arms. I roughly placed the bag over her head and since I had the Mag, I had to lead us out of the house and back into the street.

Fifteen seconds later, we made it back to our car. Riley placed the girl on the back seat, quickly jumped into the car, and we quietly drove away.

"Woo hoo, man, what a rush," Riley yelled while fist pumping the air.

"Well done, man, a job well done." I chuckled, the blood still raced through my veins.

I drove quickly down the main road, back the way we came, as I waited for the sun to rise again.

XXX

**Don't hate me. How much do you hate this guy, I know I do. Mmmm I wonder what Edward would think if he ever meet him ;-)**

**Leave me your thoughts.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys, I guess a lot of you didn't like the last chapter as reviews were down. **

**This one picks up from chapter 4, it is kinda a filler chapter that moves the story a long a bit more. I think most of you will be happy with how this ends. **

**Thank you to my beta cedward2417.**

**I do not own Twilight, just Lostward and his brooding little butt. **

Chapter 6

"_Hey, Eddie." Her warm giggle washed over me._

"_T," I grinned._

"_We're going for ice -cream, right?" She asked already knowing the answer._

"_Of course," I replied. "Now buckle up, Sweetheart." She did as she was told, and I quickly started the car and drove away- never looking back at the house where I knew my mother stood at the front door. She always stood there and watched us drive away._

**Tanya**

We drove along the narrow drive. I watched the trees sway in the wind; wobbling around and banging into each other. They reminded me of men and women stumbling out of the bar, falling into each other, unsteady on their feet from all the alcohol they had drunk.

I stole a glance at Edward; I knew he liked to get drunk. He was one of those people; the ones who like to drink so that they forgot about the misfortunes that had been handed to them. I heard Esme talking to Rosalie on the phone about Edward's drinking habits.

I've never seen him like they described him. I've never seen him cry about his lost girlfriend or drink himself into a coma – Carlise's words, not mine.

The Edward I knew was compassionate, caring, and kind. He talked to me- really talked to me; about how I was kidnapped, what really happened to my parents.

He doesn't lie to me like Esme does.

After Edward rescued me from the bastards that killed my parents and took me from them, a woman from Child Protection told me that I would be placed in a nice home with a nice family – until they could find something more stable. They told me they were foster parents and that I would love staying there.

They were wrong.

I remembered hearing Edward shouting in the next room, swearing and screaming at people. When he came to see me, he was so angry.

I asked him about the family; if they were as nice as the woman said. "Probably not. They may be nice, but chances are, they are a couple of drunks who have a shit load of kids already and just want the money. You never know though, you might get lucky," he answered.

See, he told me the truth.

I know most kids would have been scared with that information, but not me. Edward was warning me; preparing me for the worst, and I was so grateful for that.

"Here," he stole a quick look at the guard and then passed me a packet of Skittles with a piece of paper underneath, "that's my number, don't let anyone see it okay."

"Okay," I answered.

"Tanya, you need to listen to me carefully right now." I nodded my head and my eyes caught his. His eyes were red and wide, he was scared. I could see it in his eyes. He was also still angry, his jaw was tense and his hands were clutched together tightly.

I wanted to give him a hug, tell him that everything would be okay. But, I knew that was not the truth, not yet anyway. I had faith in this man- who only ten hours ago had beat up and arrested the men, who had kidnapped me; who held me all morning as I cried in relief of being found.

Who held me tighter when I found out about my parents.

Who had risked his job by all but refusing to leave me alone.

"If any one of those fuckers lay one hand on you, bully you, or try anything, anything at all- you fight your way out of there. Get to the nearest phone, call that number, and tell him where you are. Charlie will call me, and I will come and get you, okay?"

"Okay."

"Promise me, Tanya, promise me you'll call," he stressed, while running his hand through his messy hair.

"I promise, Edward."

"I will do everything to get you out of there as quickly as possible. I have an idea; I just have to make it happen."

Edward kept his promise, two days later I moved in with Mr. and Mrs. Cullen.

"Do you want to go to Mickey D's first? I think it's best to get some dinner before the ice-cream," he smiled, pulling me back to the present.

"Sure, as long as I can get a Big Mac, large fries, and a big fat Coke."

Edward laughed heartily. "Esme's still making you eat all that healthy shit?"

I laughed too, I didn't mind Esme's food. I was so grateful to just be living with her, that I would eat anything if it made them happy. But I loved that I didn't have to eat like that around Edward. I could have whatever I wanted, and I wouldn't have to feel any guilt after.

I could be myself around Edward; I knew he loved me no matter what. In my heart, he was my big brother; he loved me for being me. The feelings were mutual between.

"Yeah, she was talking about giving up meat and dairy the other day. But Carlise refused, he loves his steak too much." I giggled remembering Carlise's face when she mentioned it. He looked like she had just told him that she was turning his office into a nursery.

"I bet," Edward sighed.

There was sadness on his face whenever he was remembering something. Or when his parents, or Bella, were mentioned- he would get this sad look. His eyes would get droopy and dull, his cheeks would become flat, his mouth would set straight with a hint of a frown, and his body would sag into whatever seat he was in. I guessed he was trying to pretend that it didn't affect him. Every night before I went to bed I would say a prayer for Edward. I would ask God to help me; to help him find his lost love or help find some peace and move on from the past.

So far, God was not listening.

We parked the car and entered McDonalds; it was quiet for a change. We didn't have to wait long to be served, and I couldn't stop licking my lips from the smell.

"Why don't you get us seats, and I'll get our food," Edward instructed and like the good girl I was, I obeyed.

Fifteen minutes later, we had finished our food and headed back into the car. Edward wanted to tell me something; he would open his mouth for a few seconds and then close it again. He was also very fidgety, which gave me the impression that it was something big.

"Alright, what's up?" I demanded- curiosity getting the better of me.

Edward laughed at first, and then looked at me with a very serious and concerned face.

He sighed, "You promise you won't tell anyone yet?"

"Promise," I answered and grabbed his pinky and wrapped my own around it. Edward just laughed again- I knew he thought this was childish, but hey, I'm only ten.

"Alright, Rose is having a baby," he smiled- a real smile- the smile that we didn't get to see very often. Esme said when she told him that they would try to adopt me, he gave her that smile. It was the first time in years she had seen him smile at her like that. She said she felt like his mother again, even if it was for just a couple of hours.

"A baby?"

"Yes, she is going to move into my apartment so that when the baby comes, I will be there to help her take care of it, so she can still finish college. Which means, that when you stay over, you'll have to share a room with either me or Rose?" Huh, why was he concerned about that?

"That's cool, I'll just bunk with you," I giggled. "A baby, that's gonna be so cool. Is it a boy or girl?"

"Don't know- it's too early to tell," he laughed before looking out of the window.

"T?" He turned to look at me. He was concerned again; his face was pale and looked really sad.

"Yeah?" I whispered, my stomach was tied in knots.

"You know I love you right, and that I would do anything for you?"

Now I was scared. "Yeah, I love you too."

He gave me a small smile, "And you know how important my job is?"

"Yeah, Edward you're scaring me?" I whispered. The car suddenly felt too small and the air was disappearing. I opened the window, needing to get some air.

"You know about the other kids that have disappeared or have been kidnapped?" I turned back to him now, his eyes held mine, his green on my blue.

I nodded.

"We think we have found someone who is involved, and my job is to go and find out if he is. You follow me so far?"

"Yes," I whispered.

"Well, to do that, I have to move onto the same street as him and pretend to be his friend?"

"You're moving?" I asked, the air suddenly gone again.

"Just for a little awhile, I'm not going far, just outside Seattle." He tried to reassure me.

"How far from Seattle? How far from Forks?" I choked. My voice quaked, and I tried so hard to keep my tears from falling. He was just doing his job, saving kids that were like me; that were taken from their parents- like me.

But I couldn't help the panic that rose within me.

He was leaving.

He was leaving without me.

"About five to six hours drive from Seattle, but T, this doesn't change anything. I will call you every day and visit when I can. It won't be for long, I promise." He leaned over and pulled me out of my seat and onto his lap.

"Shh, T, it won't be for long, I promise. Please don't cry." He held me against him as I cried. I knew deep down that he would never abandon me, but it felt like he was. He was the closest thing I had to a family; him, Esme and Carlise. They were all I had in the world. Both of my parents were dead, my mother's sister was dead, my grandparents were dead. There was no one else, just those three.

"I'll be back before you know it, and you can always stay at my house with Rose and help her decorate the nursery." That did sound like fun.

"Really?" I asked through my sobs.

"Of course, in fact why don't we go and see her now? Take her some ice-cream."

"Okay," I wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt. I noticed a huge wet patch on Edward's, which made me laugh.

"What's so funny?" I pointed to his shirt, he laughed too and just shrugged his shoulders. I guess he didn't care.

"When do you leave?"

"Saturday, don't forget that it's only temporary." I nodded; I didn't want to cry again.

"I WILL BE BACK," he said in his best Arnold Schwarzenegger impression, trying to make me laugh. It worked.

We drove all the way to Seattle, picked up our ice-cream, and visited Rose. She was excited about moving and had already packed most of her stuff. She made me promise not to tell anyone again- she said it was too early for anyone else to know. Edward referred to me as Auntie T- that's what the baby would call me, he said. I hoped so- I kind of liked the idea of being someone's Auntie.

When we made it back to Forks, instead of Edward dropping me off at the house, which he usually does, he parked his car next to the driveway.

"I need to talk to Esme," was all the explanation he gave.

Esme was so happy to see him- she invited him inside, but he refused. He always refused to come inside the house; I'm not sure what had happened between them, but sometimes, I wished that Edward would come inside with me- have dinner with us, come to BBQ, and stuff. I have seen lots of pictures of him as he grew up throughout the house; and Carlise and Esme were always telling stories about him when he was a boy. I wished that we could be a real family- the four of us.

Sometimes it felt like we were; but most of time, Edward was always missing. It was like he was the piece of the puzzle that was lost; and we wouldn't be completed until he was found.

I felt like that right now.

"Hey, Sweetie. Did you have fun with Edward?" Carlise asked as I walked into the kitchen. Edward was still outside talking to Esme about something, probably about him leaving.

"Yeah, it was good," I sighed.

"What's wrong?" He asked- wrinkles appeared around his eyes and into his blonde hair.

I walked over and sat down next to him. When he wrapped an arm around me, hugging me close to him, the tears started to quietly fall again.

"I'm just bummed that Edward has to go away for awhile with work. I'm gonna miss him." I leaned my head on Carlise's shoulder and he hugged me tighter.

"I know, Sweetie, but just think of what he is doing? He is trying to rescue little kids, like you, and he will be back soon. You know he will."

"I know."

"I may have news that will cheer you up." I looked up into his blue eyes; they held nothing but happiness in them. Whenever I looked at Carlise, I could see myself in his appearance. He could easily pass as my real father- we both had blue eyes and blonde hair; and when you see younger pictures of him, he had the same dimple in his left cheek that I had.

"We have a meeting on Monday to finalize your adoption papers," he smiled.

"Really? That was quick, I thought you said it could take years."

"It could have, but the details don't matter, just the fact that you," he tapped my nose with his finger, "will be a Cullen very soon and will legally become my daughter."

"Just like Edward," I smiled. He would be my father, Esme would become my mother, and Edward would become my real brother- I would finally have my family.

"Yes, like Edward," he chuckled. "However, he is my son, I don't think he would be to happy if I referred to him as my daughter."

I laughed with him.

**Edward**

I knew Tanya was going to take my departure hard. I knew she would feel like I was abandoning her, but what choice did I have? Aro had made it perfectly clear that I had to go, or I would lose my job, and then what? How would I be able to find Bella without my job? Or help find all those kids that were missing; and honestly, I wanted to go. If this was the lead that we've been waiting for- I wanted in. I wanted to be the one that put a stop to that bastard. However, I did not want to have to spend my days and nights with Lauren. I hated that girl. How was I going to manage fucking hanging around with that bitch day and night? I didn't want to pretend that I gave two shits about her; let alone that I wanted to share my life with her; love her? Fuck this was going to difficult. How the fuck do I pretend to love someone? There was only one woman that I knew how to love that way, and I didn't want anyone else to fill her place; no one would ever fill those shoes.

After I dropped T off, I spoke with mom. I was so fucking nervous, but I had to explain what was happening and that T could stay with Rose when she wanted. Mom informed me that they had a meeting about finalizing Tanya's adoption- to say I was thrilled was an understatement. I was so fucking scared that they would get rejected and Tanya would get taken away from us.

When I first thought of the idea I was sure my parents would say no. I had barely said two words to them for almost two and half years, and then out of the blue I was almost begging them to adopt this ten year old girl- just like they adopted me. I stated my case about her having no family left, and how I was afraid she would end up in the system- moving from house to house, or something horrible happening to her. I even cried and explained what she was like when I found her- all bones and broken. My mom cried when I went into detail of what those bastards did to her- thankfully they never sexually abused her; but the mental and physical abuse she suffered was enough to keep her in therapy all her life.

They both agreed to take care of her and they pulled a lot of strings to get temporary custody of her. I could not have been more grateful to them.

That was just over two months ago, and I have watched that little girl blossom. She has gained some weight, so you couldn't see her bones anymore, but in my opinion, she was still too skinny. Her long blonde hair was shiny and thick, and her face glowed with health and happiness. Most of that was due to my parents- through all the love and nurturing they have given her.

I knew they have fallen in love with her; I knew they would. However, I did not expect the bond that she shared with my father to happen. Tanya shared his love of medicine, she may be only ten years old, but that girl has a brain of a twenty year-old woman. Her maturity always reminded me of Bella.

God, Bella was going to love Tanya. I would always picture them gossiping about books together, or films, and all that girly shit.

I went to bed that night for the first time in awhile feeling content. I may not have found Bella yet, or sorted out my own shit; but Tanya would become legally my sister soon, I knew that she was safe with my parents, and that she was loved by them. I was also happy about the shit with Rose, she was moving in on Saturday, and in less than eight months, a baby would be driving me crazy.

I couldn't wait.

The rest of the week flew by. Aro agreed that I could start my therapy sessions next week instead of this week. I wanted to get everything ready for moving and didn't want the stress of therapy as well. Aro allowed me to defer it for a week, but that was it. I had to attend the next one- or else.

I spent the rest of the week with Lauren finding out as much about her as possible. I held my tongue and did my job. But on Friday she asked if we could just pretend that we didn't know each other and try to become friends. She felt that we wouldn't be able to do our job if we didn't get along somehow. I agreed with her and we made it through the rest of the day without insulting or shouting at each other.

Tanya stayed over on Friday night; we spent the night watching movies and just hanging out. Carlise picked her up on Saturday morning; they were going to the museum together. I remembered when I was a little boy that I used to love those outings with my dad. We would go to baseball games, basketball games- actually almost any sporting event we would go too. I would go to museums and art galleries with my mom.

I missed them.

I have made so many mistakes over the years. Pushing my parents away and destroying the relationship I had with them was something that killed me every day. I only wished I knew how to repair what I broke.

Saturday afternoon I picked Lauren up with all of our shit in the van that was registered to us. We didn't really need to bring any personal belongings, as we were given a prepaid credit card for clothing, living expenses, and personal shit. We weren't allowed to dress like ourselves, we had to be someone else in every way possible. The house was fully furnished, so we only needed the basics.

As of right now, I was not longer Edward Cullen. I was Masen Turner- a stay at home author; and my wife, Clara Turner, has just started as a teacher at the local elementary school.

I finally pulled up into our new driveway. The air was humid and thick. It was going to be a restless night- I could never sleep in this type of weather- not that I slept much anyway.

"Maybe we should just leave all that in the van until tomorrow, I'm hungry and tired?" Lauren voiced and I agreed. I had been driving for hours and my body was sore and heavy. I just wanted a nice warm shower, a beer, and my bed.

"Why don't you go and phone somewhere for food, and I'll bring in the shit we need for the night." I smiled sweetly.

"Sounds good."

I opened the boot of the van and rummaged around for what we would need- two sets of PJ's, shower gel, shampoo, toothbrushes, toothpastes, Lauren's hair brush, a comb – not that it worked on my mophead- deodorant... I had put all our shit into a bag when I felt it.

It was tug.

An overwhelming pull.

I looked around me- the street was empty, everyone was probably in bed by now. My chest tightened a little like someone was putting pressure on my chest. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. It had been a long day and I was tired. My body was just playing tricks on me.

I picked up the bag with our stuff and locked up the van- the pull grew stronger and the pain in my chest felt tighter.

_What the fuck?_

I looked up again and spotted a woman. She was leaning over with her hands on her knees, trying to catch her breath. Her blonde hair piled high on her head. She was wearing yoga pants and a tight tank top. She must have just finished running. I watched her for a few moments- I was captured by this woman somehow- before she walked into the house across the street- the house of our suspect.

_Hmm? _I assumed she was the wife of the man Lauren and I were here to investigate- the asshole that would lead us to that sadistic bastard James Hunter. I wondered if she knew who, or should I say what, her husband was. Agents weren't able to get much information on "the wife" during their preliminary investigation; but Lauren and I would- after all we were her new friendly neighbors.

I suddenly noticed that the feelings I was having were gone- the tightness in my chest, the feeling of being pulled... gone.

My brain must be as tired as my body.

I grabbed our stuff and walked into my new home, ignoring the feelings I had a minute ago.

I just wanted a peaceful night sleep.

**Hmm, who could that blonde runner be? What do think? Do you like Tanya? Should I keep going? **


End file.
